Posts Tagged ‘Rip-off’

Crocodile

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

postera.k.a. Chorake
company: Chaiyo Productions
year: 1981
country: Thailand / USA
director: Sompote Sands
cast: Nat Puvanai, Tany Tim,
Angela Wells, Kirk Warren
producers: Robert Chan
and Dick Randall
Order this film from Amazon.com

Plot: A doctor and his friend hunt down and kill a giant sea-dwelling crocodile after it devours the rest of their immediate family and goes on a rampage through the waterways of Thailand.

This has to be the best known (at least as far as the Western world is concerned) of all the films made by Sompote Sands’ defunct Chaiyo Productions, thanks largely to the participation of exploitation producer extraordinaire Dick Randall (The Pod People, Slaughter High, and For Y’ur Height Only to name a few).  Crocodile had the good fortune to be dubbed into English and given an international release throughout Europe and in the United States, where it earned the ire of the American Humane Association for its un-simulated animal violence.  It was even officially released to DVD here, albeit in poor quality, in 2002, having been previously made available in video rental shops on the EMI label.

A rip-off of Spielberg’s Jaws but with Sands own peculiar interpretation of Japan’s giant monster films to guide it, Crocodile is a strange bit of ’80s exploitation nonsense.  The majority of the crocodile effects appear to have originated with the Thai / South Korean co-production Agowa Gongpo from 1978, another film about a mammoth crocodile pestering Southeast Asia whose effects were handled by Chaiyo Productions.  The reasoning behind Crocodile’s own giant monster is, naturally, atomic testing in the Pacific.  Just how big the beast may be is difficult to gage, as the full-scale props rarely match up with themselves, much less the footage of a live crocodile wandering aimlessly about miniature sets.

I’ve not seen Agowa Gongpo and can’t speak for how much rampaging giant crocodile footage was produced for it, though it obviously wasn’t enough for Sands to wrap a second film around.  Viewers will note that Crocodile’s crocodile attacks the same riverside village twice, setting the same buildings afire and sending the same Western tourists scurrying to their deaths in the water.  Sands also lifts judisciously from his earlier non-monster disaster effort Pandin Wippayoke, crafting a montage out of the typhoon and earthquake based destruction effects found there to give Crocodile’s opening more punch.

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To Chaiyo and Sands’ credit, most of the miniature effects work on display is quite good – at least comparable to that seen in the Shaw Brothers-produced The Mighty Peking Man a few years earlier.  The earthquake and typhoon effects from Pandin Wippayoke fare especially well, as does the crocodile’s attack on the reverside village.  There’s a nice mix of full-scale building collapses and miniature work there, as well as some neat shots of a crocodile-created maelstrom of blood, debris, and human bodies.  Footage featuring a real crocodile crisscrossing miniature village scapes doesn’t fare so well, with the shaky and out-of-focus photography indicating that the effects crew had no idea what direction the critter was going to head off in next.

There are a few genuinely fun moments to be had along the way.  One involves a group of scuba divers laying a giant underwater bear trap for the giant crocodile, a plan that backfires when said crocodile sends the trap sailing through the tree tops like an enormous saw blade.  The confusing non-excitement of the ending ocean battle is punctuated with ludicrous shots of the monster doing impossible Free Willy-esque jumps out of the ocean and over a boat.  The fun is tempered somewhat by the fact that none of these moments are likely to be original to Crocodile, but in the land of Sompote Sands one has to take his amusement where he can.

The drama that surrounds the piles of culled effects footage is of Sands’ typically abysmal standards.  Crocodile is nothing if not an exercise in economy, and much of the non-effects runtime is taken up by lengthy shots of ambulances carrying victims of the crocodile attacks from one location to another.  The primary dramatic impetus is provided by a sparsely written tale of revenge, in which two doctors resign their positions in a city hospital to hunt the crocodile after it eats their families while they’re vacationing.  Dialogue is so sporadic and unfocused that viewers will often have to wait until the scene after the one they’re watching to find out just what our characters were up to.

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Side stories are few and, thankfully, brief.  The owner of the boat the doctors charter appears, initially, to be of some import – introducing himself by showing the tattoo of an eagle he has on his chest and repeating some crap family legend about a monster being killed by a bird.  He gets drunk, falls off the boat, and is devoured before any good can come of him.  A performer in a crocodile show and his manager are present for two scenes and for no reason other than to pad the running time, as neither do anything at all.  Especially odd in the dramatic department is the last-minute arrival of a news photographer, who pulls up to the doctors’ boat while they’re out to sea.  The annoying newsman turns out to be an unlikely hero, strapping lit dynamite to himself and jumping into the gaping maw of the crocodile at the film’s end.  Only one of the doctors appears to survive the ordeal, though Sands never lets us know for sure.  As far as he was concerned the film was over as soon as the crocodile went kaboom, story be damned.

Crocodile is seriously marred by a couple of Sands’ usual shock scenes.  A perfectly good sequence in which the crocodile molests a herd of water buffalo is punctuated with a shot of one of them urinating all over itself while clenched in the monster’s jaws (just in case you didn’t catch that it was dying).  The American Human Association seems to have been particularly peaved by a brief crocodile show sequence, in which a showman happily lifts one of the reptiles up for the audience to see before plunging a knife deep into its neck and eviscerating it as it squirms, still very much alive.  Sands may not gloat over the dying animal for so long as Lenzi or Deodato would in their cannibal efforts, but it’s a gruesome sight all the same.

I’ve not seen the VCI DVD of Crocodile from 2002, but online appraisals show it to be a pretty pathetic affair (fitting, really, for the film at hand).  The transfer is widescreen but non-anamorphic and apparently sourced from tape, and extras are minimal.  The out of print disc currently demands high prices (from $27 to over $100) at Amazon.com, so I’ve linked in to the less expensive VHS release above.  If you’re going to see this one you may as well see it cheap.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that Crocodile turned out to be just another dull, stupid, poorly-conceived Sompote Sands film punctuated with amusing effects tidbits of highly variable quality.  I don’t know why I keep watching them, other than out of some kind of morbid car-wreck fascination – rest assured that I have more fine Chaiyo productions lined up for future coverage.  See Crocodile for the effects work if you must, but my best advice is to simply avoid it and give your well-worn tape of Alligator another spin instead.  Not recommended.

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Zombi 3

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

postera.k.a. Zombie Flesh Eaters 2
company: Flora Film
year: 1988
runtime: 95′
country: Italy / Philippines
directors: Lucio Fulci, with
Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso
cast: Deran Saradian, Beatrice Ring,
Ottaviano Dell’Acqua, Massimo Vanni,
Ulli Reinthaler, Marina Loi
writers: Claudio Fragasso
and Rossella Drudi
order this film from Amazon.com
single discboxed set

Plot: A rag-tag bunch of soldiers and college kids try to survive a zombie apocalypse in the Philippines and the hazmat-suited death squads sent out by the Army to contend with it.

There was at least some potential for decency, if not greatness, to be had with ZOMBI 3.  Producer Franco Gaudenzi, looking to tap into the post-RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD popularity of the genre by creating a name sequel in the unofficial ZOMBI franchise, at least had the courtesy to bring in horror maestro Lucio Fulci to oversee things.  It’s unfortunate that the project went downhill as quickly as they apparently did, leaving whatever potential the film had woefully untapped. “I don’t repudiate any of my movies except ZOMBI 3,” Fulci said in a 1995 interview.  “It has been done by a group of idiots.”

What idiots, you ask?  Fulci mentions three by name – directors Claudio Fragasso and Bruno Mattei, who took over the completion of the project after Fulci abandoned it (due to health concerns some say), and production manager Mimmo Scavia, whom the director says was more interested in chasing Filipino girls than in his job on the film.  It is reported that only fifty or so minutes of the footage Fulci directed remains in the film.  The rest is the work of Fragasso and Mattei, the pair previously responsible for the mind-numbing HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD.

While Fulci seems content with his usual gore gags, including a marvellous flying zombie head that pops out of a refrigerator and mauls a young man to death, and a few self-referential moments, Fragasso and Mattei seem confused as to what earlier films they should mine for ideas.  RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD was an obvious inspiration – talking zombies appear from time to time (many in scenes derived directly from the Dan O’Bannon film) and the contagion is spread in the same manner (through the cremation of an infected body).  Romero’s DAY OF THE DEAD seems to have been as well, inspiring a long running scientists-versus-Army-men subplot.  Even the hard-rocking Lamberto Bava flick DEMONS is pillaged, leading to a number of ZOMBI 3’s titular monsters sporting claws!

The end result is a tremendously weird undead opus with absolutely no internal logic and an uncanny ability to entertain for all the wrong reasons.  The script by Fragasso and co-writer Rosella Drudi, apparently still being revised when Fulci flew the coup, is an awful mess that undoubtedly sounds even worse dubbed as ZOMBI 3 was dubbed.  The lengthy dialogues between the head scientist of the “Death 1″ project and the General in charge of cleaning up the zombie mess are particularly poor in conception, a problem made ludicrously worse through the performances of Robert Morius (forever accenting with his hands) and Mike Monty in those respective roles.

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The focus throughout tends to be more on action than horror, in spite of a bevy of Franco Di Girolamo [NIGHTMARE CITY, THE NEW YORK RIPPER] gore effects, and ZOMBI 3 sports both an exploding gas station and plenty of macho-men with machine guns.  Even the zombie scenes are more kinetic than the usual, with the contaminated / undead bursting out of corners with machetes or hopping off of rooftops and the like.  Occasionally the action-oriented approach works well, as when a soldier is attacked by zombies (including his newly legless female companion!) by a bubbling pool.

The rest tends towards pure hokum.  Zombies leap off pillars and lie in wait behind cabinet doors, in the rafters, or even ‘neath abandoned pregnant women (!).  There are a couple of attempts at seriousness, as in a few stylized slow-motion shots of the ongoing death squad massacre (coupled with a “trust the government” speech from blind DJ Blue Heart), but they are few and far between.  Fulci takes to filling the screen with fog and shooting with considerable diffusion, perhaps to save his audience from the idiocy he knew was playing out before the camera.  It’s a pity he never thought to direct it with the same comic sensibility he brought to so many of his pre-horror films (THE EROTICIST, et al.).

ZOMBI 3 is undeniably awful, but its terribleness may just be its saving grace.  It certainly adds to the overall recommendability.  If you’re interested in seeing doofuses in hazmat suits fist-fighting two army men when they all have perfectly good machine guns available (at least one of which is wielded as a club!) or watching pesky clawed zombies push unsuspecting girls out of windows (or even leaping out of them themselves!) then ZOMBI 3 is clearly a film for you.  It has all of that and more, and that aforementioned flying zombie head to boot.

This one suffered handily at the hands of censors but was restored to its full 95 minute running time for the 2002 Media Blasters / Shriek Show DVD release.  The composite job looks pretty dreadful all around, with numerous switches between film-sourced and tape-sourced elements, but it’s the best I’ve seen the film look to date.  It’s recommended to fans and the curious alike and can be had quite cheaply as part of The Zombie Pack, a three disc combo package that also includes two proto-sequels (Claudio Fragasso’s entertaining AFTER DEATH and Joe D’Amato’s KILLING BIRDS, the latter of which was produced a year before this film), or much more expensively as an individual release.

Inarguably idiotic and a complete failure in the fields of both horror and action, ZOMBI 3 nevertheless has the potential to be one of the most entertaining of Italy’s many many flesh eating fiascoes.  It’s all about expectations.  Personally, I loved it.  Recommended.

005

Beast in Space, The

Monday, November 9th, 2009
poster

This locandina for THE BEAST IN SPACE is, in accordance with the film itself, rather derivative. Not only does the artwork rip-off that commissioned for the release of John Boorman's ZARDOZ, but the still images included are from the earlier Brescia space film STAR ODYSSEY.

a.k.a. La Bestia nello Spazio
companies: LU. MA. FIN and S.I.G.M.A. E. CO.
year: 1980
runtime: 92′
country: Italy
director: Alfonso Brescia
cast: Sirpa Lane, Vassili Karis,
Venantino Venantini, Lucio Rosato,
Robert Hundar, Marina Hedman
dvd company: Severin Films
release date: April 29, 2008
retail price: $29.95
disc details: Region 1 / Single Layer
order this film from Amazon.com:
unrated version
| xxx version
reviewed from a screener provided
by Severin Films, LLC

Plot: A group of astronauts are sent deep into space to a planet rich in the rare metal Antalium.  Once there they discover a world ruled by a megalomaniacal robot sex fiend, his groovy beast-man servant and an army of blond android warriors.

The first STAR WARS revolutionized the sci-fi fantasy genre in any number of ways, namely by placing a renewed emphasis on action and expensive special effects.  It’s runaway success ensured that imitators would be riffing on its formula for decades to come, and none of these imitators seem to have been so prolific as the low-end Italian exploitation director Alfonso Brescia.  In the span of three years between 1977 and 1980, Brescia managed to co-write and direct a tersely connected pentalogy of such knock-offs (along with a host of unrelated efforts).

His production ethic was simple and cost effective – create a single laundry list of props, sets, and special effects takes, and then write scripts for which they could be utilized time and time again.  After three serious efforts (BATTAGLIE NEGLI SPAZI STELLARI,  ANNO ZERO: GUERRA NELLO SPAZIO / COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS and LA GUERRA DEI ROBOT / THE WAR OF THE ROBOTS) and one outright spoof  (1979’s SETTE UOMINI D’ORO NELLO SPAZIO /  STAR ODYSSEY), the well was running quite dry.  What were money-hungry Italian producers to do?

Why, rip off another popular film from the time period, steal its star, and dust off those props, sets, and effects for one more go.  One has to give the film makers credit for shear absurdity in this department as they found that inspiration in, of all places, Walerian Borowczyk’s bizarre erotic opus LA BETE from five years earlier.  Simply adding graphic sexual content to their space picture was obviously deemed too mundane, and THE BEAST IN SPACE opts to focus instead on the Borowczyk film’s most infamous moment – the rape of a young and prudish aristocrat by a randy and hugely endowed anthropomorphic beast.  A family friendly space adventure this was certainly not to be.

70’s sex icon Sirpa Lane (THE SECRET NIGHTS OF LUCREZIA BORGIA) was attached to be BEAST’s star attraction and doomed to a far less glamourous fate than in the Borowczyk production – falling victim to the lustful intentions of a lascivious man-beast and a world-dominating super-robot and a cocky starship captain named Larry who likes to compare the wonders of space to animal asses.  Needless to say, Lane’s professional career had seen better days, and its a pity to see her used here as nothing but an admissions booster.  Director Brescia approaches her (as well as the other) erotic moments with the same aesthetic barbary that renders the drama that surrounds them so lifeless and ineffectual.  There is certainly sex to be had here, though it’ll prove of little interest to even the most devoted of skin aficianados.

Aside from its adults-only classification and a handful of sleazy and salacious moments, THE BEAST IN SPACE is par for the course as far as Brescia’s science fiction efforts are concerned.  Characters sit around spouting all manner of ludicrous dialogue (“Sector two damaged.  The bastard hit the module!”) while the editor unspools reems of stock effects in a ramshackle fashion about them.  Many of these effects shots are rather well accomplished, with considerable attention paid in making them as believable as the budget would allow, though their presence in three previous films has exponentially lessened their novelty value.

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Those trademarks of the previous Nais Film produced Brescia space pictures are all present and accounted for, including hordes of blond-wigged silver-suited android fighting men with clunky glowing swords, though that company’s name is nowhere to be found in the credits scroll.  Scripting (by Brescia and Aldo Crudo) is at least as convoluted and incoherent as in the rest of those films, and the effort is rendered even harder to follow by one of the most incongruous Itailian overdubs I’ve yet encountered.  That’s not to say that this low-tech patchwork of disparate genres is without its bizarre charms (the sight of women in space suits becoming hot and bothered by anamorphic stock footage of horses copulating is perversely hilarious), but you’ll need an unflinching adoration for cinematic awfulness to appreciate them.

The shaky distribution rights to Brescia’s previous space operas have fallen by the wayside, leaving us with nothing but shoddy bargain-bin releases of them to choose from.  Not so with the previously unreleased THE BEAST IN SPACE, which only recently received its stateside debut thanks to the due diligence and possible insanity of cult DVD distributor Severin Films.  The company has shown a remarkable dedication to the title, presenting audiences with not one but two separate releases of it – including one of the obscure hardcore cut of the picture.

The feature presentations for both discs, triple-x inserts and gigantic rubber man-beast penis aside, are pretty much identical.  BEAST is presented in 16:9 enhanced and progressive scan widescreen transfer that, in spite of frequent speckling and other damage, puts the digital representations of Brescia’s other space films to shame.  Colors and contrast are both well represented and the grainy image presents with good detail when the cinematography (frequently intentionally blurry and diffused) allows for it.  Audio is represented by a suitable Dolby Digital monophonic Italian track, augmented with English subtitles that, barring a few typos, are well translated.  An interview with actor and artist Venantino Venantini is included on the unrated disc, while the xxx edition gets just over two minutes of hardcore outtakes.  Both discs come with a  trailer, the sexual explicitness of which varies in accordance with which cut of the film is represented.

Severin Films is to be commended for finally giving this, undoubtedly the strangest of Italy’s science fiction offerings, a proper release on digital, though the high retail price will probably deter most casual buyers.  In this case that’s probably not so bad a thing, as THE BEAST IN SPACE is definitely not for everyone.  Its off-kilter blend of outer space antics and sleazy sex was enough to keep the Wtf-filmer in me casually entertained, but your mileage will definitely vary.

Mahakaal

Friday, August 21st, 2009

a.k.a. THE MONSTER
Prime Films / Cine Film [1988/1993] 132′
country: India
director: Tulsi and Shyam Ramsay
cast: Karan Shah, Archana Puran Singh,
Johnny Lever, Mayur, Reema Lagoo
Order this film from Amazon.com

The life of thirty year old college teenager Anita (Archana Puran Singh) is starting to get interesting. Right now, she and her equally old student friends (among them the most terrifying monster of all – “comedian” Johnny Lever) are still cavorting around merrily – that is when her boyfriend Prakash and his best friend Rakesh aren’t dishooming the local would-be rapists - but all this is beginning to change when Anita’s best friend Seela, and very soon our heroine herself, is starting to have terrible nightmares.

In them, they are hunted by a shadowy, mulletted man with a scarred face and the propensity to laugh menacingly while showing his charming iron-bladed gloves. That would probably be troubling enough for the girls, yet the worst thing is that these dreams are leaving physical traces behind. It’s one thing dreaming about getting your nightshirt ripped by claws, but it’s quite another when you wake up and actually find it ripped.

Still, the friends are (theoretically) young, their hair freshly sprayed and mulletted, so they decide to drive to the country-side to have a picnic and cavort some more. That works out nicely until they want to drive back home and discover that their car won’t move an inch anymore. Fortunately there’s a hotel nearby. Unfortunately, it’s managed by another Johnny Lever and has no working phones to call home from. How immoral! Well, at least it’s dry and warm.

Anita and Prakash do the boring and responsible thing by keeping chaste. Seela and Rakesh however decide to have a real picnic together in one bed. Would you believe that Seela dreams of the nice man with the interesting gloves again? Yeah, I was completely taken by surprise myself. This time, though, he’s not just appearing to scare the girl; he kills her, leaving Rakesh – who of course decides to run – as the main suspect of the dastardly deed, no matter that there’s no proof whatsoever against him.

Hunting Rakesh is Anita’s father, your usual Bollywood patriarchal copper arsehole. Thanks to Rakesh’s brilliant idea to make a visit to his school campus in bright daylight, it’s a very short manhunt, and the young idiot finds himself in a nice, damp cell.

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The next night, Anita dreams of Rakesh getting killed in his cell by the mullet man and his new pet snakes, and even her skeptical father looks shaken when he learns that the young man did in fact die that night.

After a few more small revelations, Dad explains who the man with the gloves is. It’s a certain Shakaal, a black magician who worshipped some undefined dark gods by sacrificing children to them. Seven years ago, he kidnapped Anita’s little sister to do the same to her. Her father wasn’t able to save his daughter, so he poked Shakaal in the face with a torch and buried him alive in a chained box in some ruins. Obviously, the dead man has returned to take his vengeance.

If there is one thing you can count on when it comes to the films of the Ramsay Brothers, it is their absolutely shameless will to entertain in the broadest and sleaziest (for Hindi cinema) way possible. These two aren’t afraid of anything, not even ripping off one of the two films by Wes Craven that are actually any good – A NIghtmare On Elm Street.

Well, there is something the Ramsays were afraid of – putting their Nightmare rip-off into the cinemas when their arch enemy Mohan Bakhri had just before thrown his own version of the tale, Khooni Murdaa, on the market. Just imagine, they could have lost money! So they let the film lie and ripen for a few years and only put it out when the Bollywood horror boom had already run its course, making it their last theatrical feature before they had to flee into the land of cable TV, as far as I’ve heard while being hunted by villagers carrying torches.

So the fashion and the victims of Johnny Lever’s “parodies” (and does Amitabh Bachchan’s comeback vehicle Shahenshah truly need to be parodied?) and “satire” are very much part of the late 80s. I have a hard time imagining that this will have helped Mahakaal’s financial performance, but hey, what do I know about stuff like that.

What I do know is what I find fun, and Mahakaal definitely is fun.

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Sure, if you are easily angered by really brazen theft of plots, ideas, scene set-ups or musical cues, you’ll probably have a hard time watching it without beginning to froth at the mouth. I find the Ramsay method here rather charming. The first half of Mahakaal copies the plot progression and characters of its model as closely as possible, but adds a lot of flavor to prepare Craven’s recipe for the taste of an Indian audience. So the viewer gets to see a slightly less bloody version of A Nightmare on Elm Street plus everything he, she or it ever loved about the trashier side of Bollywood cinema – musical numbers of dubious quality (well, I actually found the last one with its golden glitter costumes from hell rather undubious, even quite delightful), heroines with an insane propensity to get very very wet, said dishooming of would-be rapists and other assorted rabble, Johnny Lever humor you can blessedly fast forward through because his scenes are not in the least relevant for anything else in the film (although you will then miss out on things like his Michael Jackson imitation, his Amitabh Bachchan in Shahenshah stick – which is actually kinda funny – and the rare Johnny action scene).

Then the last third of the film arrives, and the Ramsays have obviously had enough of following Craven, throw out the dream demon idea completely and turn the film into the monster rumble most of their films I have seen until now end in. Which is an excellent idea when it brings us a re-jigged scene stolen from Dawn of the Dead, an inexplicable, but fun bout of demonic possession and a much better water bed death scene than in the original. The only way to beat that (or bring it to an end) is of course to end the film in a bizarre beat-down that is at once gruesome, silly and absolutely insane and alone worth the price of admission.

Technically, Mahakaal is typical Ramsay Brothers filmmaking – there’s not a bit of subtlety to find anywhere, yet the brothers show an exhilarating sense for hysterical in-your-face intensity when it comes to the horror sequences or the action. If it has to do with the use of zoom, manic camera movements, fog, multi-coloured lights, more fog, or bizarre interior architecture (watch out for the temple of evil!), the Ramsays know what they are doing and (or so I suspect) love it.

Memorable acting you won’t find here, but at least our heroine, future TV personality Archana Puran Singh, is as game for anything as Polly (Shan) Kuan, be it fighting an invisible man, getting very very wet repeatedly, or just screaming “Nahiiiiiiiin!”. Especially her screams are something I won’t soon forgot.

What more could I ask from a film?

For more bizarre movie goodness, be sure
to visit Denis’ excellent review blog The Horror!?

For Your Height Only

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

a.k.a. FOR Y’UR HEIGHT ONLY
Liliw Productions [1981] 87′
country: Philippines
director: Eddie Nicart
cast: Weng Weng, Yehlen Catral,
cast: Carmi Martin, Anna Marie Gutierrez
Order this film from: Amazon.com

“The forces of good are our sworn enemy.  They must be exterminated – and I mean lethally!”

Eminent scientist Dr. Von Kohler is visiting Manila when he is kidnapped by the good-hating forces of the enigmatic Mr. Giant, who prefers to contact people through mirrors backed with decorative lights that flash when he speaks.  Mr. Giant’s plans are diabolical – he intends to take the formula for the new [and rather hilariously named] N-bomb from Dr. Von Kohler and use the weapon to conquer the world!

The only person who can possibly stand up to him is the pint-sized Agent 00 [Weng, who is often called by name here], master of martial arts, gun play, and romancing.  As soon as he’s finished helping hottie Lola get rid of her organized crime problem by killing local drug lord Columbus, Agent 00 is put on the job of finding Dr. Von Kohler.  After using his new pair X-ray sunglasses to take a peak at a pair of secretaries au natural, getting into a gun fight on a Ferris wheel, and nearly being poisoned, 00 finally gets a tip from the female agent operating within Mr. Giant’s crime syndicate and is led right into one of his drug operations [a bakery that definitely puts the white in white bread].  00 puts a stop to it, and the first of many thorns in Mr. Giant’s side.

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Yeti – il Gigante del 20 Secolo

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

a.k.a. YETI: GIANT OF THE 20TH CENTURY
Stefano Film [1977] 118′ / 96′
country: Italy
director: GIANFRANCO PAROLINI [as Frank Kramer]
cast: ANTONELLA INTERLENGHI, MIMMO CRAIG,
cast: JIM SULLIVAN, TONY KENDALL, EDOARDO FAIETA

Oh Dino de Laurentiis, what hath ye wrought? Throughout 1976, the world was bombarded with pre-release advertising for his multi-million dollar remake of KING KONG – so much so that exploitation entrepreneurs couldn’t help but try and take advantage of it. The results were mostly boring and terrible affairs, as exemplified by the U.S / Korean co-production A*P*E [which beat the de Laurentiis production to theaters by nearly three months, and in 3-D no less]. Not to be upstaged, a small consortium of Italian producers / screenwriters concocted this bizarre yarn, which is the only true giant monster film ever to have been produced in the country as far as I am aware.

YETI begins with several shots of ice exploding, a glimpse of a boat in the Arctic, and a fly-over of Toronto, all while a musical derivation on the John Barry theme to KING KONG and [more oddly] Carl Orf’s “O Fortuna” blurps in the background. This can only mean one thing – that an absolutely gigantic yeti has been discovered by a greedy corporate head in the icy north of Canada. That greedy corporate head is Hunnicut [Faieta], and he tasks his ‘paleonthonologist’ [gotta love those English dubs!] buddy Wassermann with waking the beast up for reasons unknown. Wasserman, with the aid of a helicopter, a huge gas chamber, and an armory’s worth of flamethrowers, does just that while Hunnicut’s grandchildren – the mute Herbie [Sullivan] and hottie Jane [Interlenghi] – look on.

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