rating: 
company: The Asylum
year: 2009
runtime: 88′
country: United States
director: Jack Perez (as Ace Hannah)
cast: Deborah (Debbie) Gibson, Vic Chao,
Sean Lawlor, Lorenzo Lamas
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There are moments when I can’t help but wonder why I do the things I do. The readership of this site is far too low for fame, fortune, or glory to be involved – some kind of depraved subconscious masochistic desire seems much more likely. Sitting through the likes of MONSTER A-GO-GO or WEASELS RIP MY FLESH makes a certain amount of sense for someone in my position since, awful as they may be, they still fit comfortably within the fringes of my bizarre taste. That I subject myself, time and again, to the output of The Asylum [the cinematic equivalent of sucking a tail pipe] is more difficult to understand.
Asylum has taken to referring the majority of its direct-to-video tumors as “mockbusters”, going so far as to recommend them as gag gifts for cinephiles. The company has carved a profitable little niche for itself by producing knock-off titles [THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED, INVASION OF THE POD PEOPLE, TRANSMORPHERS, THE DA VINCI TREASURE . . . need I go on?] that are typically sitting on video store shelves before their super-budget inspirations even hit the big screen, with SciFi Channel more than happy to premiere whatever swill Asylum sends its way. That there’s a market for lousy DTV efforts is all well and good, but does it have to be this bad?
