Posts Tagged ‘Comedy’


Screwballs

July 24th, 2010 | article by | No Comments »
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a.k.a. Screw Balls
film rating:
disc rating:
companies: Maurice Smith Productions,
Millennium, and New World Pictures
year: 1983
runtime: 80′
country: Canada
director: Rafal Zielinski
cast: Peter Keleghan, Kent Deuters,
Linda Speciale, Alan Deveau,
Linda Shayne, Jason Warren,
Jim Coburn, Terrea Smith
disc company: Severin Films
release date: October 13, 2009
retail price: $34.95
disc details: Region A / Single Layer
feature: 1080p HD
audio: Dolby Digital English [2.0]
subtitles: none
reviewed from a screener
provided by Severin Films LLC.
order this disc from Amazon.com

Plot: A motley gang of high school miscreants go on a quest to reveal the breasts of resident virgin Purity Busch.

I have to admit before delving into this review proper that I’ve never much been friends with the teen sex comedy sub-genre.  I’ve not seen Bob Clark’s Porky’s, any of the multitude of American Pie iterations, or even the seminal John Landis effort Animal House.  Aside from the long-ago experience of seeing Fast Times at Ridgemont High on television one very boring summer day, my experience with the sub-genre is practically nil.  Consider this review to be the perspective of a complete outsider.

My first impression of Screwballs, and this isn’t meant as an insult in the least, is that it’s a tremendously stupid film.  I would even go so far as to call it epic in terms of its stupidity.  The humor, from character names (Purity Busch, Melvin Jerkovski, Bootsie Goodhead, and so on) on up, is about as obvious as it gets.  None of this is necessarily a bad thing as far as the genre is concerned, and in the case of Screwballs the combination of obviousness and uncompromising idiocy are positive boons.

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The Lost Skeleton Returns Again

July 23rd, 2010 | article by | 4 Comments »
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film rating:
disc rating:
company: Bantam Street
year: 2009
runtime: 93′
director: Larry Blamire
cast: Frank Dietz, H. M. Wynant,
Brian Howe, Christine Romeo,
Kevin Quinn, Fay Masterson,
Robert Deveau, Daniel Roebuck,
Larry Blamire, Susan McConnell
writer: Larry Blamire
cinematography: Anthony J. Rickert-Epstein
music: John W. Morgan
and William T. Stromberg
Reviewed from a screener provided
by Shout! Factory, LLC.
Pre-order this film from Amazon.com

Plot: Two bands of adventurers, one good, one bad, and one including a man possessed by a living skull, head into the Valley of the Monsters on the hunt for Geranium, a rare element that will . . . something . . .

Writer, director and actor Larry Blamire has made something of a name for himself in cult film circles for his low budget send-ups of the B-grade science fiction of old, and is best known for the prequel to this film – 2004’s The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. Picked up and released through Sony Pictures, The Lost Skeleton… proved pretty successful for a no-bugdet niche production with limited appeal beyond its target audience of bad cinema aficionados. A sequel seemed inevitable and, after the similarly themed 2007 effort Trail of the Screaming Forehead, the inevitable came to pass.

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Rock ‘n’ Roll High School and Suburbia

May 25th, 2010 | article by | No Comments »
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Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (DVD / Blu-ray) and Suburbia (DVD)
are both available for purchase at
Amazon.com

These special edition DVDs of Rock ‘n’ Roll High School and Suburbia have already seen their street dates (the former is now out on Blu-ray as well), released roughly two weeks ago, and while the screeners didn’t arrive in time for me to provide advance coverage I see no reason not to give the discs the same treatment Shout!’s Gamera, the Giant Monster and Death Race 2000 have received here.  As with those, these are merely my first impressions of the discs – more comprehensive coverage of each will follow in short order.

I had the great pleasure of being more or less unfamiliar with both of these films when their screeners arrived in the post.  I had heard of Rock ‘n’ Roll High School in passing, having friends who were fans of it and The Ramones, but had seen neither picture.  These Roger Corman’s Cult Classics editions make for an excellent viewing experience, particularly for first-timer’s like myself.
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Death Race 2000 (Shout! Factory, 2010)

May 12th, 2010 | article by | 2 Comments »
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preorder this film from Amazon.com: DVD | Blu-ray

Another day, another new screener!  Paul Bartel’s violent sci-fi comedy classic Death Race 2000 is due out from Shout! Factory on the 22nd of June, and here’s a sneak peek at what you can expect from the release (which will be hitting Blu-ray same day and date).  You’re welcome.

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In The Loop

March 8th, 2010 | article by | No Comments »
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rating:
companies:
BBC Films,
UK Film Council and Aramid
Entertainment Fund
year: 2009
runtime: 106′
country: United Kingdom
director: Armando Iannucci
cast: Peter Capaldi, Tom Hollander,
Gina McKee, James Gandolfini,
Chris Addison, Anna Chlumsky,
Enzo Cilenti, Paul Higgins,
Mimi Kennedy, Alex Macqueen,
Johnny Pemberton, Olivia Poulet,
David Rasche, Joanna Scanlan,
James Smith, Steve Coogan
writers: Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell,
Armando Iannucci, Ian Martin
and Tony Roche
cinematography: Jamie Cairney
music: Adam Ilhan
order this film from Amazon.com:
SD DVD | Blu-ray

“Twelve thousand troops . . . but that’s not enough.  That’s the amount that are going to die, and at the end of a war you need some soldiers left, really, or else it looks like you’ve lost.”

~ Lt. General George Miller

I missed this one when it (briefly) ran in theaters.  It certainly wasn’t a difficult film to miss, seeing as it played on a single screen for a week to two with nothing in the way of local advertising.  The closest I had to a theatrical experience was with regard to the trailer, which played before one of the handful of screenings of The Hurt Locker I attended.  That trailer, a manic flurry of editing backed by Rossinni’s William Tell Overture as re-interpreted by someone in the midst of a cocaine bender, killed with the audience, promising a smart, witty, imminently quotable piece of political satire the likes of which hasn’t been seen in some time.  In The Loop went on to become one of the best-reviewed films of the past year (93 and 83 percentile out of 100 at Rottetomatoes and Metacritic respectively for those who need numbers to chew on), and certainly delivers on all of the trailer’s promises.

In The Loop plays a bit like an episode of NBC’s The West Wing (not surprising given that it’s an off-shoot of the British TV series The Thick of it), only scrubbed clean of any trace of systemic respect and filtered through a ludicrously obscene lens .  There are no appearances by the President, Prime Minister, Secretary of Defense or what have you.  The focus is firmly on the underlings, the mass of supporting players who make things happen through shear determination and hefty doses of luck, good or otherwise.  And if all else fails, there are always plenty of facts to manipulate for the cause.

In fact, the entire narrative for In The Loop is about manipulation, most notably on the person-to-person level.  The plot, such as there is one, concerns the confused cooperation of the United Kingdom and the United States in the build-up to an unspecified conflict in the Middle East and the unlikely Cabinet Minister Simon Foster (Tom Hollander) propelled into the center of things by his awful media appearances.  Directing him into a host of disparate directions is Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi, The Lair of the White Worm), a vulgar enforcer from Downing Street whose job it is to keep bumbling ministers straddling the constantly shifting party line.  Complicating matters on the other side of the pond are anti-war Asst. Sec’y of State Karen Clark (Mimi Kennedy) and Lt. General George Miller (James Gandolfini) and her enemy, conservative war-mongering Asst. Sec’y of State Linton Barwick (David Rasche).


Simon Foster is as close as the film comes to having a central identifiable character, a well-intentioned Minister turned political pawn (he doesn’t even have control of the blinds in his own office) who stumbles through all manner of positions on the issue of the war before being forced into resignation and, ultimately, fired.  He is frequently equated with meat, room filler for meetings and photo-ops, and is tossed about from agenda to agenda before being fed to the dogs (rather, the press) and returned to his rural constituents, forgotten by the world at large.  Through Foster we are witness to the monstrosity of the modern political machine and its ability to destroy those unlucky enough to become trapped in its quickly-moving parts.

Countering Foster’s political naivety is the seasoned Malcolm Tucker, the Downing Street attack dog tasked with keeping Foster in his place – wherever that might happen to be.  Prone to outlandish threats of physical violence (“Stay detached, or that’s what I’ll do to your retinas!”) and vein-popping fits of rage, Tucker is adept at bullying those he sees as beneath him (everyone, in other words) into whatever corner the situation calls for, but is ultimately as worried about his personal stake in events as everyone else.  Capaldi is exceptional, lending credulity to ludicrous phrases like “ass-spraying mayhem” in ways that I think few actors could.  He is responsible for what is, arguably, the film’s finest moment, when Tucker, alone in the mediation room of the United Nations building, has a moment of silent existential panic.

There’s a lot of seriousness to In The Loop, not the least of which being the subject it tackles (obviously inspired by the build-up to the Iraq War in 2003).  The country the United States and the United Kingdom are joining forces against goes unnamed throughout, re-enforcing one of the important points of the film: The governments don’t want a war against any nation in particular, they just want a war.  There’s no escaping the fact that the decision the film’s mountain of supporting characters are awkwardly racing towards is going to cost real lives (per the quote at the head of this article).


The screenplay (by director Armando Iannucci, with Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Ian Martin and Tony Roche, the crew behind The Thick of It) blends comedy seamlessly with a manic pacing and the serious elements of the narrative.  The jokes are non-stop from the start, the sense of humor bleakly sardonic throughout.  Every other line is a jab at something or someone and I found myself, for perhaps the first time ever, watching an English-language film with subtitles enabled just to be sure I wasn’t missing anything (a big thanks to MPI Home Video for including them on their DVD).  In The Loop is, in a word, vicious, an outright condemnation of a system that sends young men to die for little more than the personal political gain of those at the top.  It’s also uproariously funny, and I haven’t laughed so much during a film in a long, long time.

Iannucci’s direction is a bit too television for my taste, and all-handheld HD camera work is starting to lose some of its effective immediacy after all the other feature films (particularly in the horror genre) and television series (The Office, et al) that have utilized the technique.  His sense of pacing is spot-on, however, and In The Loop roars forward at full-tilt from the first frames.  Exceptional casting rules the day, the long list of performers taking the swift-footed screenwriting in the appropriate stride.  Capaldi and Paul Haggins reprise their enforcer roles from the television series, while Mimi Kennedy and David Rasche make for memorable dueling Assistant Secretaries of State.  Steve Coogan (Hamlet 2) makes an important bit appearance as a constituent disgruntled about a collapsing wall, and Tom Hollander brings pathos to the dim-witted and quickly fading political star Simon Foster.

MPI Home Video released In The Loop to both DVD and Blu-ray on the 12th of January, and I highly recommend that those who, like myself, missed it in its limited theatrical run take the opportunity to catch up to it now.  Both do the job of capturing the HD-cam photography, the Blu-ray being noticeably clearer and sharper if not much else.  Extras are limited – a trailer, a tv spot, a nice collection of deleted scenes (28 minutes worth), and an extremely short (3 minutes, 17 seconds) look behind-the-scenes – but the film itself is more than enough to make the discs worthwhile and the price is certainly right (under $20 retail for the Blu-ray and considerably less for the SD DVD).  Both English SDH and Spanish subtitles are available for the feature, the former of which I found very useful in preparing for this review.

This is a wonderful piece of acid political satire with surprising depth lurking beneath all the cock jokes (and believe me, there are a lot of them).  I’ll stop short of calling it brilliant for my own petty reasons, but don’t let that dissuade you.  In The Loop comes very highly recommended.

order this film from Amazon.com:
SD DVD | Blu-ray



Ganjasaurus Rex

February 24th, 2010 | article by | 1 Comment »
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rating:
companies:
Prehistoric Productions
and Reel People Media
year: 1987
runtime: 88′
country: United States
director: Ursi Reynolds
cast: Paul Bassis, Dave Fresh,
Rosie Jones, Howard Phun,
Rich Abernathy, John Ivar,
Andy Barnett, Alex,
Stephen Brown, Diana Hahn
writers: Paul Bassis, Dan Gilweit,
Rosie Jones, Rick Cooper, Al Ceraulo,
Andy Barnett, Alex, Stephen Brown,
Jon Akselsen and Diana Hahn
videographer: Russel Dobson
music: Step One Studios, David Penalosa,
Rob Sadler, Andy Barnett, Mark John,
Rod Deal, Larry “Lazer” Murphy, Tree Spirit,
Tyce, Mike, Sean, Rich, Dan and Paul Bassis
special effects: marty Smitty
order the OOP Rhino Video
release from Amazon.com


Plot: A prehistoric monster terrorizes the California coast and the marijuana growers there, who have developed a new strain of cannabis the grows to be as large as a redwood tree.

Aside from an extensive selection of Sandy Frank-imported Japanese science fiction features and an Ed Wood Jr. skin flick, Rhino Video’s 1988 release of Ganjasaurus Rex is the only other VHS I clearly remember dwelling on Blockbuster’s paltry “Other” shelf.  Even to my young eyes it looked just too . . . well . . . bad . . . to be worth bothering with, so I never did.  Not, at least, until now.

The story, such as there is one, follows a handful of pot farmers looking to make it big with a new sequoia-sized strain of cannabis and the subsequent (farcical) attempts by the DEA to suppress their efforts.  Intruding upon things is the gargantuan Tyrannosaurus Herbivorous Ganjasaurus Rex, a misunderstood beast from the sea who seeks only to munch peacefully on the towering marijuana plants that dominated its prehistoric environment.  Compulsory scenes of monster mayhem ensue, with Ganjasaurus Rex sending the local California populace fleeing and the DEA rushing to an expert on the beast (one Professor Sprog) for help.

The box art for this one pretty much sums it up – cheap is the operative word.  Low-fi and low-tech, the project seems to be the confused brainchild of a few stoner musicians looking to sound off against the Reagan-era War on Drugs in the doofiest way possible, by having a pissed-off prehistoric monster rise up in reaction to Federal drug raids.  Some archival footage from a 1985 raid on a California pot grower is even used to beef up the creature’s first appearance.  The dinosaur menace (implicitly linked with Godzilla, which makes for a copyright joke at the end of things) is primarily accomplished through stop motion, at least in the argumentative sense of the term.  Mostly it looks like what it is: either a toy being jerked around in front of a blue screen or a larger head mock-up with a light bulb inside of it.  Impressive it certainly isn’t, though it is amusing from time to time.


Surprisingly enough, the writing here (credited to no fewer than ten people, including much of the cast) isn’t all that bad, and some is even funny as intended.  It’s obvious where the sympathies of the creators lie.  The DEA, local law enforcement, and anti-pot community activists (operating under the banner of “Operation C.A.M.P” . . . har har har) are presented as little more than buffoons, their dialogue full of Freudian slips (confusing “propaganda” and “press packets”, for instance).  The good-guys are peaceful and well-intentioned hippies with names like Cloud and Moss, who spend their days watching T.V., eating lentils, and being generally unproductive members of society.  The scientists are goofy, especially Professor Sprog, though we know they’re good too – they drink all-natural carrot juice while their DEA agent guest opts for Folger’s Crystals and Sweet ‘n Low.

There is some seriousness afoot when DEA agents descend on Moss and his girlfriend’s pad, confiscating their gargantuan potted pets (named Zelda and Wilma) at gunpoint.  Any comment on the use of extreme force is quickly lost in the farce, with the DEA agents, their supporters, and a gaggle of press representatives finding themselves quite taken with the smoking remnants of Moss’ pet trees.  The display also attracts one Ganjasaurus Rex, who goes on a brief rampage behind still photos of local buildings before settling down and taking a few tokes off the still smoldering pot-pyre.

Performances are expectedly mixed but, as was the case with the writing, not as bad as one might anticipate.  Much of the on-screen talent were local musicians, and at least they have something in the way of personality on their side.  The less said about the more technical aspects of the production the better.  The videography is mostly flat and static, and the live audio recording is ample for understanding dialogue but not much else.  One big positive is the music, which is quite good throughout.  I’d frankly be more interested in owning a copy of the soundtrack than the film itself.

I can’t bring myself to be too hard on this one, though I honestly don’t have that much to say about it either.  For a no-budget shot-on-video monster comedy it could certainly have been worse, even if some of it did leave me feeling rather sleepy-eyed.  Long OOP, Ganjasaurus Rex currently goes for anywhere between $50 and $1000 at online retailers, which seems excessive at both ends.  If you can find it cheap it may well be worth a watch, though those who skip on it certainly aren’t missing out on much.  Does ambivalence count as a recommendation?


order the OOP Rhino Video
release from Amazon.com



King Kong vs. Godzilla

January 29th, 2010 | article by | 4 Comments »
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part of the Goin’ Bananas B-movie roundtable:

rating:
companies:
Universal International
and Toho Company Ltd.
year: 1963
runtime: 91′
countries: United States / Japan
directors: Ishiro Honda
and Thomas Montgomery
cast: Michael Keith, Harry Holcombe,
James Yagi, Tadao Takashima,
Kenji Sahara, Ichiro Arishima,
Yu Fujiki, Jun Tazaki, Akihiko Hirata
writers: Paul Mason
and Bruce Howard
music: Peter Zinner (supervisor)
dvd company: Universal Studios Home Entertainment
release date: November 29, 2005
retail price: $14.98
details: Region 1 / NTSC / Single Layer
feature: progressive / 2.31:1 anamorphic
audio: Dolby Digital English (2.0 Mono)
subtitles: English SDH, Spanish, French
order this film from Amazon.com
single disc | double feature with King Kong Escapes

Plot: A television executive has King Kong imported to Japan while Godzilla is simultaneously unleashed from his imprisonment in an iceberg.  The two march inexorably towards each other, leading to an epic final battle atop Mount Fuji.

Like all the earliest of Toho’s science fiction and fantasy films (Godzilla: King of the Monsters!, Gigantis the Fire Monster, Half Human, Varan the Unbelievable, The H-ManGorath, The Human Vapor, and The Last War in particular), King Kong vs. Godzilla was altered considerably for importation into the American market.  In this case co-producer John Beck, working from a treatment by an uncredited and unpaid Willis O’Brien, was given full reign over how Toho’s production would be presented in the States as part of his contract with the company.  The end result is a film almost entirely unique from the Japanese original, and one of the most altered Toho productions outside of Crown International’s treatment of Varan the Unbelievable.

In its original form King Kong vs. Godzilla is much less science fiction than comedy, a satire of television marketing.  Producer Beck was none too pleased with the light-hearted sensibilities of the picture and sought, with his version, to present audiences with the more traditional monster romp they were undoubtedly expecting.  His success in this regard was minimal, his efforts to improve things rendering King Kong vs. Godzilla an unintentional comedy rather than an overt one.

Taking a cue from Terry Morse’s financially successful redux of Godzilla: King of the Monsters! a few years earlier, Beck oriented his film around newly-shot sequences featuring news reporters in the United States (Michael Keith, The Worm Eaters) and Japan (James Yagi, of The Outer Limits episode The Hundred Years of the Dragon).  Neither Michael Keith or James Yagi had the star credentials of Raymond Burr, who had appeared as the villainous Lars Thorwald in Hitchcock’s Rear Window just two years before his turn as Steve Martin in Godzilla: King of the Monsters!.  More unfortunately, Beck’s integration of their sequences into the film proper is poor at best.  They play as little more than lengthy info-dumps between the Japanese footage and stop the pacing of the film cold.

Michael Keith plays UN reporter Eric Carter, who communicates with James Yagi’s Omura via stock inserts of the alien satellite from The Mysterians.  Beck must have been working under considerable financial limitation here, as the two sets the reporters occupy have all the depth and realism of a sub-par grade school shoebox diorama.  Each comes complete with a ‘television’, or rather a piecing together of cardboard slabs upon which crumpled monochrome prints of shots from the film are stuck.  It’s sad stuff, indeed, and a far cry from the comparably lavish production values of the rest of the picture.


Harry Holcombe (The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Billy Jack Goes to Washington, Empire of the Ants), the most accomplished of the American cast by a wide margin, appears as Dr. Arnold Johnson, who is perhaps the worst paleontologist in screen history.  Using a children’s picture book as a visual aid, Johnson explains to reporter Carter that the recently appeared Godzilla may well be a cross between a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Stegosaurus while comparing his brain to a marble and recommending that electricity might be a viable offensive measure against him (given that he’s a reptile, as though his being anything else would make him any less susceptible to electrocution).  Yes, it is as dreadful as it sounds, though not entirely without its unintentional comic charm.

The English overdubbing of the Japanese footage isn’t nearly so bad as it could have been here, besting Columbia’s for the earlier Battle in Outer Space and a marked improvement over the endless narration found in Half Human or Gigantis the Fire Monster, though Beck’s attempts to play the film straight appear to have been lost in translation.  Television executive Mr. Tako (the wonderful Ichiro Arishima) still comes across as a daft madman and Furue (Yu Fujiki) still plays the bumbling sidekick to Sakurai’s (Tadao Takashima) straight man.  Furue provides one of the most memorable parts of the dubbed version, introducing a minor subplot about his corns and how they ache when monsters are afoot.  The dubbing even improves upon the original Japanese in one respect, making the American submarine crew sound less like the amateur actors they are.

Beck’s King Kong vs. Godzilla runs just 91 minutes, five minutes shy of the original running time, but I’d wager that no more than 75-80% of the original survived the editing process.  Lost is much of the early character development, replaced by Beck’s bricks of exposition.  Perhaps the biggest loss is in the soundtrack department, where Ifukube’s score (one of the very best of his career) is replaced with stock tracks from The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Monster that Challenged the World, and Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, among others.  The stock tracks aren’t bad by any means, but their unconnected bundle of disparate themes can’t compare with the power of Ifukube’s work.


Thankfully, the majority of the monster footage remains intact, less a few shots here and there.  Reviews of the film in America more or less ignored the dramatic inadequacy of the film, focusing on the aptitude of the Japanese effects crew instead.  In this respect Beck’s King Kong vs. Godzilla still makes for an entertaining watch, in spite of its disparaging ineptitude in other areas.

Universal, who released the film domestically as Universal International in 1963, missed a grand opportunity to present a deluxe edition of this film when it chose to bring it to DVD in 2005, but such is the nature of the business.  Those looking for the uncut original will have to rely on Toho’s own expensive home video iterations, as this Universal Studios Home Entertainment DVD caters only to the American release version of the film.

King Kong vs. Godzilla is in a horrendous state of preservation in its native Japan, and Toho’s recent high definition restoration had to rely, in part, on an awful standard definition video master from the ’90s in order to account for footage in too sad a shape to be transferred.  Universal’s print is in comparatively excellent shape, with much of the footage lost in the Japanese restoration appearing nearly pristine here.  The 2.35:1 progressive and anamorphic widescreen transfer presents the film in its original aspect ratio for the first time on American shores and, save for some damage (dust and scratches), its a beauty.  Beck’s additions to the drama look even cheaper in the original scope, while Eiji Tsuburaya’s effects production shines.  Audio is English only Dolby Digital 2.0 monophonic, with optional English SDH, French, and Spanish subtitles available.

The single layer disc boasts absolutely nothing in the way of supplemental material, not even a trailer.  Still, the price is low (at least for the double bill with King Kong Escapes) and the quality of transfer high, making it worth the upgrade from the awful pan-and-scan Goodtimes releases that have been kicking around for the past decade plus.  Fans will certainly want to indulge.



Chaw

November 6th, 2009 | article by | No Comments »
Tags: , , , ,

postercompany: Lotte Entertainment
year: 2009
runtime: 121′
country: South Korea
director: Jeong-won Shin
cast: Eom Tae-woong, Yoon Jae-moon, Jeong Yu-mi, Jang Hang-seon, Josiah D. Lee

Police officer Kim (Eom Tae-woong) suddenly finds himself transferred from Seoul to a precinct in a small farming village. Because Kim is officially willing to work anywhere, he has to grab his pregnant wife and his dement mother and move virtually at once. Is there no police union in South Korea?

Another question is why the village would need another uniform in addition to the half a dozen or so policemen already stationed in a place called “the crimeless village”. That question is never quite answered directly, although the insane lack of competence and intelligence shown by Kim’s new colleagues could be an explanation.

The arrival of at least one level-headed person turns out to be timely, though. A large animal, which will shortly be identified as an absurdly large boar, has begun a series of deadly attacks on just about anyone unlucky enough to cross its path. At first, the rather freaky village heads do the mayor of Amity thing, and try to sweep the whole business under the carpet. A boar attack on a weekend farming event convinces the town fathers that they have to take action. They call in a group of professional hunters lead by media darling Baek (Yoon Je-moon).

A short but exciting hunt later, Baek presents a dead female boar as the mankiller everyone is afraid of, but the local old, wisened hunter Cheon Il-man (Jang Hang-seon) who has lost his granddaughter to the beast doesn’t believe the animal to be the true culprit. Rather, or so he theorizes after a make-shift autopsy of the animal, the animal Baek has killed was just the true killer’s wife.

Cheon Il-man is just all too right. The same night, the true killer boar breaks through the wall of the building where the villagers are celebrating the death of his wife by eating her and wreaks a little havok.

Since most everything else that has happened has followed the Jaws template like nothing since Grizzly, a small group (but hey, it’s not a trio) consisting of Kim, the city police detective Shin (Park Hyeok-kwon) who had been called when nobody was sure if the killings weren’t murders, Baek, Cheon Il-man and the zoologist Soo-ryeon (Jeong Yu-mi), decides to search for the monster’s lair and kill it.

chaw1 chaw2 chaw3
chaw4 chaw5 chaw6

Chaw is a weird one. While all of the film’s plot beats are slavishly copied from Spielberg’s Jaws, I’d never call this South Korean production a true rip-off. The difference does not lie in the difference in animal species or talent and interest of the filmmakers as it is between Jaws and Grizzly, it is a difference in tone. Chaw is not trying to be a thriller or horror movie, it is an absurd comedy that uses the big bad animal template to, well, I’m not completely sure to do what. It is most certainly not one of those boring genre parodies Hollywood likes to crap out like a dying elephant, but why excatly Chaws director Shin Jeong-won uses the template at all instead of just making an absurd comedy about weird people living in a weird little village never was too clear to me while watching it.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though, because there is nothing in this world that can’t be improved by the addition of a big freaking monster, be the monster a mutant boar or Margaret Thatcher. Less fortunately, I am not completely satisfied by the way the monster CGI is realized. While the boar wears a satisfyingly evil looking face, he is never looking all that real when he is moving. It comes down to the typical CGI problem of not looking physically massive enough and not moving like a living creature but like an animation.

Director Shin at least seems to have realized that his creature isn’t much above SciFi channel standard and doesn’t show too much of it too often, so that the creature troubles aren’t the kiss of death for the film’s entertainment value it could be.

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More important – and more problematic to some – could be the film’s humor. Even though this is also a monster movie, it is a comedy first, and it is a comedy whose humor is all over the place. It begins with annoying bumbling comic relief cop antics by the village police but then goes on to include just about any other kind of humor you could think of, from some mild things about poop to quite a bit of the black leftfield humor I have become acquainted with through South Korean films like The Host or The Quiet Family. There are moments of the absurd that turn into the humane and the tragic or hint at a darkness lying behind human relationships, yet also so much pure silliness that the latter is robbed of much of its impact. Many of the film’s absurdities are funny, effective and worthwhile nonetheless, the trouble is that the jokes, the human angle and the monster bits never achieve the kind of thematic unity a film like The Host reaches.

Instead we have a technically (apart from CGI troubles that always also come down to taste) highly proficient monster movie that permanently gets waylaid by weird little jokes and asides and your typical Asian movie what-the-hells like Baek’s talking (telepathic?) dog (Earl Wayne Ording – no, really, that’s the dog actor’s name) or the karaoke sequence.

This just doesn’t add up to a completely satisfying movie, but to a film chockfull of fun little moments that is highly entertaining to watch if one likes monster movies and absurd humor and is willing to just follow the film wherever it leads, coherence be damned. In its own way, it beats most other Jaws copies easily, however faint this praise might sound.

For more bizarre movie goodness, be sure
to visit Denis’ excellent review blog The Horror!?



Mahakaal

August 21st, 2009 | article by | No Comments »
Tags: , , , ,

a.k.a. THE MONSTER
Prime Films / Cine Film [1988/1993] 132′
country: India
director: Tulsi and Shyam Ramsay
cast: Karan Shah, Archana Puran Singh,
Johnny Lever, Mayur, Reema Lagoo
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The life of thirty year old college teenager Anita (Archana Puran Singh) is starting to get interesting. Right now, she and her equally old student friends (among them the most terrifying monster of all – “comedian” Johnny Lever) are still cavorting around merrily – that is when her boyfriend Prakash and his best friend Rakesh aren’t dishooming the local would-be rapists - but all this is beginning to change when Anita’s best friend Seela, and very soon our heroine herself, is starting to have terrible nightmares.

In them, they are hunted by a shadowy, mulletted man with a scarred face and the propensity to laugh menacingly while showing his charming iron-bladed gloves. That would probably be troubling enough for the girls, yet the worst thing is that these dreams are leaving physical traces behind. It’s one thing dreaming about getting your nightshirt ripped by claws, but it’s quite another when you wake up and actually find it ripped.

Still, the friends are (theoretically) young, their hair freshly sprayed and mulletted, so they decide to drive to the country-side to have a picnic and cavort some more. That works out nicely until they want to drive back home and discover that their car won’t move an inch anymore. Fortunately there’s a hotel nearby. Unfortunately, it’s managed by another Johnny Lever and has no working phones to call home from. How immoral! Well, at least it’s dry and warm.

Anita and Prakash do the boring and responsible thing by keeping chaste. Seela and Rakesh however decide to have a real picnic together in one bed. Would you believe that Seela dreams of the nice man with the interesting gloves again? Yeah, I was completely taken by surprise myself. This time, though, he’s not just appearing to scare the girl; he kills her, leaving Rakesh – who of course decides to run – as the main suspect of the dastardly deed, no matter that there’s no proof whatsoever against him.

Hunting Rakesh is Anita’s father, your usual Bollywood patriarchal copper arsehole. Thanks to Rakesh’s brilliant idea to make a visit to his school campus in bright daylight, it’s a very short manhunt, and the young idiot finds himself in a nice, damp cell.

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The next night, Anita dreams of Rakesh getting killed in his cell by the mullet man and his new pet snakes, and even her skeptical father looks shaken when he learns that the young man did in fact die that night.

After a few more small revelations, Dad explains who the man with the gloves is. It’s a certain Shakaal, a black magician who worshipped some undefined dark gods by sacrificing children to them. Seven years ago, he kidnapped Anita’s little sister to do the same to her. Her father wasn’t able to save his daughter, so he poked Shakaal in the face with a torch and buried him alive in a chained box in some ruins. Obviously, the dead man has returned to take his vengeance.

If there is one thing you can count on when it comes to the films of the Ramsay Brothers, it is their absolutely shameless will to entertain in the broadest and sleaziest (for Hindi cinema) way possible. These two aren’t afraid of anything, not even ripping off one of the two films by Wes Craven that are actually any good – A NIghtmare On Elm Street.

Well, there is something the Ramsays were afraid of – putting their Nightmare rip-off into the cinemas when their arch enemy Mohan Bakhri had just before thrown his own version of the tale, Khooni Murdaa, on the market. Just imagine, they could have lost money! So they let the film lie and ripen for a few years and only put it out when the Bollywood horror boom had already run its course, making it their last theatrical feature before they had to flee into the land of cable TV, as far as I’ve heard while being hunted by villagers carrying torches.

So the fashion and the victims of Johnny Lever’s “parodies” (and does Amitabh Bachchan’s comeback vehicle Shahenshah truly need to be parodied?) and “satire” are very much part of the late 80s. I have a hard time imagining that this will have helped Mahakaal‘s financial performance, but hey, what do I know about stuff like that.

What I do know is what I find fun, and Mahakaal definitely is fun.

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Sure, if you are easily angered by really brazen theft of plots, ideas, scene set-ups or musical cues, you’ll probably have a hard time watching it without beginning to froth at the mouth. I find the Ramsay method here rather charming. The first half of Mahakaal copies the plot progression and characters of its model as closely as possible, but adds a lot of flavor to prepare Craven’s recipe for the taste of an Indian audience. So the viewer gets to see a slightly less bloody version of A Nightmare on Elm Street plus everything he, she or it ever loved about the trashier side of Bollywood cinema – musical numbers of dubious quality (well, I actually found the last one with its golden glitter costumes from hell rather undubious, even quite delightful), heroines with an insane propensity to get very very wet, said dishooming of would-be rapists and other assorted rabble, Johnny Lever humor you can blessedly fast forward through because his scenes are not in the least relevant for anything else in the film (although you will then miss out on things like his Michael Jackson imitation, his Amitabh Bachchan in Shahenshah stick – which is actually kinda funny – and the rare Johnny action scene).

Then the last third of the film arrives, and the Ramsays have obviously had enough of following Craven, throw out the dream demon idea completely and turn the film into the monster rumble most of their films I have seen until now end in. Which is an excellent idea when it brings us a re-jigged scene stolen from Dawn of the Dead, an inexplicable, but fun bout of demonic possession and a much better water bed death scene than in the original. The only way to beat that (or bring it to an end) is of course to end the film in a bizarre beat-down that is at once gruesome, silly and absolutely insane and alone worth the price of admission.

Technically, Mahakaal is typical Ramsay Brothers filmmaking – there’s not a bit of subtlety to find anywhere, yet the brothers show an exhilarating sense for hysterical in-your-face intensity when it comes to the horror sequences or the action. If it has to do with the use of zoom, manic camera movements, fog, multi-coloured lights, more fog, or bizarre interior architecture (watch out for the temple of evil!), the Ramsays know what they are doing and (or so I suspect) love it.

Memorable acting you won’t find here, but at least our heroine, future TV personality Archana Puran Singh, is as game for anything as Polly (Shan) Kuan, be it fighting an invisible man, getting very very wet repeatedly, or just screaming “Nahiiiiiiiin!”. Especially her screams are something I won’t soon forgot.

What more could I ask from a film?

For more bizarre movie goodness, be sure
to visit Denis’ excellent review blog The Horror!?



Wool 100%

August 20th, 2009 | article by | 2 Comments »
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The Klock Worx Co. [2006] 100′
country: Japan
director: Mia Tominaga
cast: Kyoko Kishida, Kazuko Yoshiyuki,
Ayu Kitaura, Carolina Kaneda, Eiko Koike
dvd: Cult Epoch [2008] $24.98
Dual layer DVD9 / NTSC / Region 1
subtitles: English [feature only]
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Ume [Kyoko Kishida] and Kame [Kazuko Yoshiyuki] are sisters who, since their childhood, have been obsessed with collecting and caring for the things other people throw away.  Now asocial elderly women, their daily routine revolves entirely around their finds – which have quite literally engulfed their large home.  One morning while wandering about town they discover a hamper full of red wool yarn and decide to take it home to add to their collection.  But far from being a benign bit of abandoned junk, the yarn attracts a young girl [Ayu Kitaura] to their home . . . a young girl who spends all of her waking hours in a sisyphian routine of knitting the perfect sweater and bursts into ear-shattering hysterics every time she realizes she must knit it again.

The introduction of this stranger into their set way of life is understandably troublesome for Ume and Kame, particularly when the young girl [nicknamed "Aminaoshi", or "Knit-again", by the women] takes to disorganizing and outright destroying their junk collection.  But the old women soon realize that the more things they remove from the house, the more they unravel about their own past and the often traumatic events that have led up to their present circumstances.

Mia Tominaga’s WOOL 100%, which she both wrote and directed, is another in a long line of fantastic genre-defying Japanese feature films that have appeared over the past two decades.  Steeped in its own allegorical fantasy mythology and lacking in traditional narrative sensibilities, WOOL is both welcoming and abstract – intrinsically watchable but so demanding of thought that many audiences will undoubtedly be left scratching their heads.

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In style and subtext, WOOL reminds of Nobuhiko Obayashi’s eccentric coming-of-age horror fairy tale HOUSE from 1977 – particularly when various items in Ume and Kame’s huge home begin attacking their ever-knitting guest.  Both films focus on the trials and traumas of growing up, though WOOL’s perspective is ostensibly the opposite of Obayashi’s film.  The two sisters here are traumatized at a young age when their mother dies during pregnancy, with the second World War throwing a figurative wrench into their burgeoning sexuality by destroying the only young man they’ve come to know.  Thusly the two begin a reclusive lifestyle, walling themselves in behind a mountain of remnants of other people’s lives.

Enter Aminaoshi, the first human being the sisters have willingly [even if not at first] associated themselves with in decades.  It is she who allows them to see the things of the house for what they are, less protectors [as the opening narration describes them] than the wardens of a prison of their own making.  As the wall comes tumbling down and Ume and Kame’s routine unravels, they begin to remember the past and, more importantly, start to realize what they have to do.  The conclusion has them [young once more] abandoning the house in the wake of a cheerful Aminaoshi-led firestorm, following a thread of red yarn wherever it may lead them.

The treatment of Aminaoshi is interesting as well.  When she first appears the sisters mark her down as an object like the rest they’ve found and even give her a cute name, adding a drawing of their conception of her to one of their piles of collection scrapbooks.  Their perception defines her existence in the house in the beginning, and the inanimate objects take on an unlikely life in her presence and fight for domination over her.  She is nearly eaten by a blanket and a TV set and is pummeled senseless by a large teeter-tottering doll.  This culminates in an animated showdown between Aminaoshi and some of the home’s more recognizable denizens, a battle that ends with Aminaoshi beginning her destructive rampage through the sisters’ possessions and affirming the importance of the living over the inert.

Tominaga directs with considerable flair and a truly unique visual style, and its easy to lose yourself in the impressive visuals.  She keeps the overall tone of the picture light and whimsical, aside from a few key moments, with excellent results overall.  Her screenplay, which manages to connect just about every story element to a few spools of vivid red yarn, is charming if a bit forced at times.  I was hard pressed to find any nagging issues with the production side of things at all, but I’m a sucker for any film that starts with two old women scaring the bejesus out of a youth choir.  I find it a real pity that Tominaga hasn’t directed more in the three years since WOOL saw release and can only hope that we see more of her in the future.

Special mention needs be made of the fantastic cast Tominaga assembled for her debut feature.  Big-time actresses Kiyoko Kishida [perhaps best known for playing the eponymous WOMAN IN THE DUNES in the 1964 Hiroshi Teshigahara film] and Kazuko Yoshiyuki [Seki in Nagisa Oshima's EMPIRE OF PASSION from 1978] are phenomenal picks to play the delightfully bizarre older sisters.  Both actresses had highly successful careers that had spanned at least five decades at the time WOOL was produced, and Yoshiyuki is still working in film today.  This was Kishida’s final performance before her passing in December 2006, and it’s a fine swan song.  Equally good in her role as Aminaoshi is relative newcomer Ayu Kitaura, who should have a long career ahead of her if her work in WOOL is any indication.

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Cult Epoch should be commended for giving WOOL 100% a North American DVD release at all, though the disc has its fair share of detracting factors.  The transfer [mis-advertised as full frame] is a reasonably detailed interlaced 16:9 enhanced job with colors and contrast both well rendered.  There is minor ghosting evident at times as well as a few video artifacts, but this appears to be more the fault of the DV source format [transferred to 35mm for theatrical distribution] than the disc’s dual layer encoding.  The pleasant Dolby Digital stereo audio track is augmented with intelligible and highly readable English subtitles.

The disc only really falls flat in the supplemental department.  We get a set of trailers that are of lesser quality than the feature and a brief behind-the-scenes docu running 17:29.  The latter is particularly troublesome as Cult Epoch has neglected to provide any subtitling options for it, making it a useless add-on for the vast majority of the North American DVD market.  A brief stills gallery rounds out the related supplements, and a few unrelated trailers for other available Cult Epoch DVDs finish off the disc proper.  This release of WOOL 100% retails at $24.98, which seems high to me [particularly given the lack of viable supplements] but is still a better bargain than the pricey and subtitle-devoid Japanese disc from 2007.

WOOL 100% is a real charmer as far as I’m concerned and one of the best films I’ve seen in a while.  This deliciously off-kilter and undeniably original fantasy isn’t going to be for everyone, but I think those willing to give it more than a passing thought will find it a rewarding experience indeed.  Highly recommended!



Disgusting Spaceworms Eat Everyone!!

August 13th, 2009 | article by | 1 Comment »
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T-N-H Productions [1989] 73′
country: United States
director: George Keller
cast: Bill Brady, Lisa Everett Hillman,
Michael Sonye, Tequila Mockingbird

I have to admit, this isn’t something that immediately struck me as being my kind of movie.   Shot on video at the end of the 80′s for what couldn’t have been more than a scant few thousand dollars in the same vein as the Troma Studios efforts of the day and with the same tongue-in-cheek comedic intention that has doomed so many independent efforts to mediocrity [the recent DEAD AND BREAKFAST comes to mind], DISGUSTING SPACEWORMS EAT EVERYONE!! sounded like just the sort of obscure garbage I tend to despise on sight.

How many ways can I say I was wrong?

DISGUSTING SPACEWORMS EAT EVERYONE!! begins in space – on a ship full of worms to be precise.  So the wriggling mealworms dabbled about every corner of the ship aren’t necessarily disgusting, but they more than make up for that in their enthusiasm.  While it was impossible to tell what was being said by the worms [yes, they talk] due to the overbearing sound effects and background music and the overall crappiness of my review copy, I gathered that they intended to destroy mankind, who have stumbled upon the secret to the destruction of their race.  The scene is hysterical, with the master worm speaking passionately from a cardboard cup pulpit to his pile of devoted and cheering followers.

Their plan devised, the spaceworms warp their ship to Earth, choosing Los Angeles gangster Ziegler [Michael Sonye, here under his pseudonym Dukey Flyswatter] as their first conquest.  After yelling at someone on the phone about killing someone else the gangster heads out to his patio for a cocaine snack.  But wait – what’s this?  The worms have teleported themselves into Ziegler’s bag of cocaine!  The gangster lines up his rows and snorts, only to find himself covered in wiggly worms and spewing blood from just about everywhere.  A horrible death to be sure . . .

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Somewhere else in L.A., hitman Ray [Bill Brady] is reading the funny pages when he is interupted by a phone call.  He’s obviously in no mood for a job, and throws the phone dramatically into a nearby swimming pool before heading out on an extended drive.  Ray literally runs into the young and assless-jeans-donning Lisa [Lisa Everett Hillman], who proves very protective of a crumpled brown paper bag in her possession [she says it holds her recently deceased cat].  The two drive around for a while but don’t get along terribly well.  Soon Lisa evacuates Ray’s car and wanders off, leaving him with nothing to do but meet up with his contact and get his assignment.

Some secret envelope and money exchanging later, Ray has his job – unfortunately the person he’s supposed to hit is no other than Lisa.  Fortunately for her Ray is the sensetive type, or at the very least tired of working for his slimeball gangster boss.  He opts to kill off all of Ziegler’s minions and get in on whatever action has put Lisa in the spotlight instead.  Meanwhile, that pesky ship full of spaceworms is still floating about L.A., teleporting instant rubbery death into the homes of countless unsuspecting victims.  A family of television obsessed drunkards here, a bathtub beauty there . . .  All fall before the might of the worms, who are working hard to fulfill the titular promise of eating everyone.

Ray becomes understandably distressed by the situation unfolding around him, making him all the happier when he finds Lisa once again.  But what’s this?  The zombified worm-powered Ziegler has found the two as well, and is waiting to pounce from the backseat of Ray’s car.  Through him our heroes learn that the worms are after mankind because of its tampering with “zarmon crystals” – the one thing that can possibly destroy them.  What are zarmon crystals, you ask?  Cocaine of course [never mind that it's the same stuff the worms teleported into earlier without issue]!  Luckily for Ray, Lisa has a load of the stuff stashed in her paper bag and she isn’t afraid to use it.  Having heard the alien plot, she decides that it’s time for Ziegler to go for good and chucks a handful of cocaine in his direction.  Blood spurts and steam bubbles and soon he is little more than a smoldering mushy puddle in the backseat.

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The spaceworms’ motives and means of destruction revealed, Ray and Lisa go on a quest to destroy the invaders.  Can they possibly throw enough cocaine at the right worms at the right time to put an end to their savage conquest?  I’ll never tell!

Against all odds I came to love DISGUSTING SPACEWORMS EAT EVERYONE!! and its peculiar brand of no-budget antics.  What little is on display in terms of technical fortitude [VHS looks to have been the master format] is more than made up for by the shear ridiculousness and liveliness of the proceedings.  The screenplay credited to Keller / Mulliron / Sellers is actually quite good and takes 40′s noir crime films, of all things, as its jumping off point – Ray even narrates his own misadventure at times.  It’s abundantly clear than none of it is intended to be serious in any way, which is a definite upside when skyscraper-sized cans of Raid figure prominently in a film’s conclusion.

Scimpy as the production may be, SPACEWORMS packs a few neat little punches.  The soundtrack is loaded with songs from local Los Angeles talent of the time that, while it may be irritating to those not into the late 80′s punk-pop scene, sounds absolutely awesome to these ears.  Editing is another strong point.  Wisely avoided are the lengthy stretches of static dialogue shots that dominate most indies.  Keller constantly cuts from camera to camera to camera and keeps the pace going fast and hard.  The body of SPACEWORMS passes by in nary an hour, with the final ten minutes or so dedicated to some colorful end credits that come complete with a few bits of behind-the-sceens goofiness.  It looks like everyone involved had a blast, and it shows in the final product.

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Now, complaints against SPACEWORMS could certainly be made.  The special effects, particularly the vintage video animation and terrible blue screen that dominates the latter third of the picture, are almost universally bad and the performances by the no-name cast [Sonye/Flyswatter is the only reckognizable name, and his resume features such classics cinema as SURF NAZIS MUST DIE and TERRORS FROM THE CLIT] vary considerably in quality.  There are also far too many scenes devoted to driving.  But these are all minor quibbles at best in the context of the feature in question, with at least two of the three helping to elevate its hefty potential to entertain.

If there are video releases of this oddity, legitimate or otherwise, I’ve not seen them – I snatched my review copy from my favorite cult film torrent tracker [linked to the right].  If anyone involved with this flick knows of an official way to purchase this gem be sure to let me know so I can promote the hell out of it.

This one obviously isn’t for everyone and those without the patience for shot-on-video fare should proceed with caution.  Still, I loved it and have no problem giving it a recommendation.  I suggest seeing it with friends and making a party of it – with a title like DISGUSTING SPACEWORMS EAT EVERYONE!!, how could it go wrong?



Night of the Comet

July 23rd, 2009 | article by | No Comments »
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Atlantic Releasing [1984] 96′
country: United States
director: Thom Eberhardt
cast: Robert Beltran, Catherine Mary
Stewart, Kelli Maroney, Sharon
Ferrell, Mary Waranov, Geoffrey
Lewis, Peter Fox, John Achorn
Order this film from Amazon.com
This review is part of the CHRISTMAS
IN JULY ’09
B-movie roundtable,
hosted by yours truly.

It’s Christmas time in Los Angeles, but precious few people are around to celebrate after a mysterious comet [whose last approach was at the time of the great dinosaur extinction] does a close fly-by and turns most of the animal life on the planet – us included – into calcium dust.  Those who received only partial exposure to the comet’s rays are rotting to dust as well, in a process that turns them, for however short a time, into dangerous flesh-hungry zombies.

Surviving the apocalypse are trucker Hector [Beltran] and valley girls Regina [Stewart] and Samantha [Maroney], the latter of whom received basic combat training from their military-minded father.  Such training comes in handy when the group encounters zombie children, zombie homeless men, and mall-bound zombie stock boys with more than promotion to upper management on their minds.  A band of scientists tucked away in the desert soon present themselves and begin helping the survivors, but their intentions prove more menacing than meets the eye.  The burden of society rests on the shoulders of our three young heroes – can they out-live the zombies, out-smart the scientists, and jumpstart a new and groovier civilization?  Like, totally!

I really, really love this, one of the last great hurrahs of the late 70′s / early 80′s surge of films made out of admiration for the B-movie sci-fi and horror programmers of old.  NIGHT OF THE COMET wears its inspirations on its sleeves, with the disaster itself reminding of Wyndham’s DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS and the barren Los Angeles [as well as our heroes' temporary radio station housing] is evocative of THE WORLD, THE FLESH, AND THE DEVIL.  The dust that the comet leaves behind is reminiscent of THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH, especially when we see it swept away by rain.  A rare 3-D print of IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE even figures prominently into the early third of the narrative.

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But the screenplay, by director Thom Eberhardt [who had written and directed the spooky and underrated SOLE SURVIVOR the previous year], also pays considerable lip service to George Romero and the two zombie pictures he had made up to that point.  When Hector first appears, he relates a story in much the same vein as Duane Jones’ from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, and the zombie child he later encounters is of a similar ilk as the two Ken Foree fends off in sequel DAWN OF THE DEAD.  Then, of course, there is the lengthy sequence in which Samantha and Regina amuse themselves at the local shopping mall . . .

Eberhardt keeps the tone of his end-of-the-world story remarkably up-beat – the world-wide disaster is nothing short of a dream come true for the valley girl protagonists, and even Hector is swayed once the prospect of a nice and quiet family life presents itself.  Violence is kept off-screen for the most part [only a few obsenities push it into PG-13 territory], with the director focusing on the tongue-in-cheek humor instead of horror.   Unlike many of his predecessors and contemporaries, Eberhardt opts to define his film by the time period in which it exists – no one eyeing the fashions or hearing the multitude of pop songs on the soundtrack will ever be confused as to which decade NIGHT OF THE COMET belongs.  And that’s just fine by me.

Along with loads of popcorn entertainment value NIGHT OF THE COMET presents with considerable style.  The lengthy sequences in the scientists’ underground compound that dominate the final third of the film are composed in a particularly creative fashion and with great Bava-inspired multi-color lighting to boot.  Of all the things I was expecting when I first screened this, that it would be as well made as it turned out to be was never one of them.

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The main cast is a reasonably accomplished lot, though they weren’t all that way at the time of filming.  Robert Beltran is perhaps best remembered for his lengthy stint as Commander Chakotay on the STAR TREK: VOYAGER television series.  Catherine Mary Stewart hit it big in 1984, with leading roles in both this and THE LAST STARFIGHTER, while Kelli Maroney was fresh from playing Kimberly Harris in 174 episodes of the soap opera RYAN’S HOPE.  All three have led successful careers in television in film and continue to perform today.  Writer / director Eberhardt has done reasonably well for himself, though his last major film was the 1992 comedy CAPTAIN RON.

NIGHT OF THE COMET itself has enjoyed something of a rediscovery in recent years, thanks largely to MGM releasing the rental store staple to DVD in March of 2007.  While bare bones to the max, the inexpensive disc does present the film in a reasonable 1.85:1 anamorphically enhanced and progressive transfer.  While the film deserves better treatment, the relatively low price [$7.99 at Amazon as of this writing] makes it a desirable release all the same.  The captures for this review were taken from a DVD-R I recorded from the MGM HD channel in April – here’s hoping the fine HD master makes its way to Blu-ray at some point down the line, though I won’t hold my breath.

A serious rumination on life after the apocalypse this definitely isn’t, but as witty sci-fi and horror lite entertainment it’s tough to beat.  Who knew that the end of the world could be so fun?  NIGHT OF THE COMET comes highly recommended, and the MGM DVD, however sparse, is a must-buy for fans.  So what are you waiting for – Christmas?

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Reptilicus

July 20th, 2009 | article by | 2 Comments »
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Saga Studio and
American International Pictures
[1961/1962] 92′ / 82′
country: Denmark / United States
directors: Poul Bang and Sidney Pink

cast: Asbjorn Anderson,
Ann Smyrner, Mimi Heinrich,
Carl Ottosen, Bent Mejding,
Bodil Miller, Dirch Passer,
Marlies Behrens
Order the US release version of
this film from Amazon.com

Deep in Lapland a strange discovery is made – the disembodied tail of some enormous prehistoric reptile is found by a mining expedition, perfectly preserved in the icy muck underground.  The remains are flown to Copenhagen, where a freak accident allows them to thaw.  Scientists and authorities alike are stunned when a full creature begins to form from the tail, which was thought to be dead.  Precautions are taken to ensure that the beast doesn’t escape, but not nearly enough it seems.  The monster, dubbed Reptilicus, goes on a rampage, attacking Hamburg and Stockholm.  But Reptilicus soon returns to Copenhagen, where the Danish military is waiting . . .

REPTILICUS is a terribly serious affair – hence the terribly serious synopsis above.  And I can’t stress enough how terribly seriously it was taken by those responsible for making it.  Co-produced between Denmark’s Saga Studio and Pittsburgher Sidney [BWANA DEVIL, THE TWONKY, THE ANGRY RED PLANET] Pink, with international distribution rights handled by legendary schlock house American International Pictures, REPTILICUS was a big deal for all involved.  The production received unprecedented cooperation from the Danish armed forces, and there’s no end to shots of tanks rolling through fields or anti-aircraft cannons lining deserted city streets.

Experienced Saga Studio director Poul Bang got first crack at Danish-American Ib Melchior’s screenplay, producing a reasonable [compared to what was to follow] if entirely unremarkable blend of science fiction, romantic drama, and comedy that was marketed with much fanfare as ‘the first Danish science fiction fantasy film in Eastman Color’.  But thanks to the particularly awful failing of its inexperienced special effects crew [more on that in a bit] the film was met with a mix of indifference and incredulity by Danish audiences, who must have wondered what all the fuss had been about.

Sidney Pink had the second round, directing an alternate English language version of the Melchior screenplay to be distributed world-wide by A.I.P.  Unfortunately Pink was far less experienced [or talented] than his Danish counterpart, and the cut he presented to American International executive Sam Arkoff was reportedly awful to the point of being unreleasable.  Never one to let a bad film go to waste, Arkoff set about re-working Pink’s abysmal production into something approaching marketable.  The dialog was re-looped and the narrative edited considerably, but the most noticeable difference was in the special effects department.  Arkoff must have spent a good chunk of change here, as the finished American REPTILICUS is loaded with new optical work, notably in the addition of the titular monster’s ability to projectile-vomit globs of bright green glop.  It’s a stupid effect to be sure, but just the sort of thing the film needed to get its school boy demographic talking about it.

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Additional optical effects, like the inclusion of flames or smoke in the foreground, seem to have a dual purpose – to make the original shots more exciting and cover up at least some of their inherent limitations.  What limitations, you ask?  The miniature work utilized for both the Danish and American versions of REPTILICUS is easily some of the least effective ever to grace a major motion picture.  The buildings of the table-top Copenhagen sets rarely appear fully detailed, more often looking like the squat and misshapen cardboard boxes they are.  That the setups are, without exception, photographed in a full-on flood of light only makes matters worse, showcasing every one of a seemingly endless supply of defects.

Bad as the miniature city scapes may be, REPTILICUS’ biggest failing is definitely in its depiction of the menace for which it is named.  Forget the magical space buzzard of THE GIANT CLAW, Reptilicus beats it hands down for the title of Worst Monster Marionette.  While interesting enough in the design department, seemingly inspired by the mythological sea serpents of old, its implementation leaves a lot to be desired.  Reptilicus wriggles and wobbles as though propelled by a single technician holding a single string and, thanks to standard speed photography, has about as much visual weight as one imagines a puppet a scant few feet long would.  A more detailed hand puppet of the monster’s head fares only slightly better, its manner of manipulation all too obvious.

American International did much to refine REPTILICUS in regards to its special effects, but for every step forward the company seems to have added a new technical blunder to the pile.  Chief among these is a truly awful process shot meant to show Reptilicus devouring a poor Dane.  Just one glimpse of a static photo of the victim disappearing down the monster’s hatch is enough to illicit howls from even the most jaded of bad movie veterans.  More obnoxious to me is A.I.P.’s tendency to repeat close-ups of the beast ad nauseum, and more often than not in awful step-printed slow motion.  The optical slime effect also grows tiresome through over-use, losing its initial “neat” factor early on.

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Sidney Pink [the man responsible for JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET] liked to claim that American International ruined his picture through their meddling, but the dollar signs certainly add up in A.I.P.’s favor.  Business for REPTILICUS was good, in spite of its stilted dramatics and awful effects, and it continues to be a cult favorite here in the states.  American International’s release made it to VHS courtesy of the defunct Orion, which is how I first encountered it many years ago, and was released on DVD as part of MGM’s Mignight Movies series in 2001.  That disc looks to have since been discontinued.

As for myself, I’ve become rather partial to Poul Bang’s Danish version of the film.  There’s no questioning that the dramatic aspects of Ib Melchior’s screenplay are better handled here.  The emphasis is shifted away from the titular menace in favor of the romances that form around its discovery.  Considerable time is spent fleshing out the relationship between Svend and the young Karen Martens [there's some wonderful subversive dialogue early on, like Karen asking her father for permission to thaw Svend out], though the conflicting love interests of General Grayson are left largely unexplored.  Too bad, as Grayson is the one person in the picture who could have benefited the most from expansion of his character, and the Danish trailer reveals that at least some material in that regard was produced.  The only note on Grayson’s love life to be had is when we see him embrace Lise Martens at the end of the picture, just before it dissolves to an underwater shot of Reptilicus’ twitching disembodied foot.

Nearly all of the romantic footage is either excised in the A.I.P. cut or was never re-filmed by Pink to begin with, including a couple of scenes in which Svend and Karen frollic at the beach [stills of which were circulated by American International].  Replacing such material in the American cut are lengthy spools of travelogue footage, including an extended tour of Tivoli [limited to the Tivoli Nights musical number in the Danish release] and pontification on the bike-riding habits of Danes.  The main cast is the same through both versions with the exception of potential General Grayson love interest Connie Miller, who is played by Bodil Miller in the Danish cut and the considerably [ten years] younger Marlies Behrens in the A.I.P. release.

Still, the Danish REPTILICUS plods along at a tedius pace, and you’ll find that half of the film has passed before the monster finally makes a living, breathing appearance.  Once the beast does enter things, there’s much less of him to be seen here than in the A.I.P. cut [not necessarily a bad thing], though a good amount of what is here is alternate footage not found in that cut.  Most notable amongst this special effects footage are the infamous flying sequences, in which Reptilicus awkwardly attacks Hamburg and Stockholm in the night before sailing into Copenhagen.  Arkoff was probably wise to cut them from his release [I can only imagine how they must have dragged on in Pink's original cut as compared to here], even if some of his own additions proved just as ridiculous.

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Then there is the odd case of Dirch Passer, the Danish comedy legend who plays a night watchman named Mikkelson [renamed Peterson in the A.I.P. release].  Passer is much better represented by the Bang film, obviously being more comfortable working in Danish than English,  with the egregious exception of his show-stopping song-and-dance number.  Passer meets up with a gaggle of school children in a park and tells them, through the magic of song, about the terrifying monster ‘Tillicus [the joke here is that the kids aren't scared in the least, and call Passer a little baby for being afraid].  I don’t find this to be nearly so bad as many other reviewers seem to and really quite enjoy it, though its placement here is questionable all the same.  The rest of the Sven Gyldmark musical score for the film is pretty good, the somber opening theme in particular.  Only the unfortunate inclusion of a slide whistle to the orchestra detracts from things, making the “intense” monster scenes even more ludicrous.  Gyldmark’s score was augmented by Les Baxter [PANIC IN YEAR ZERO] for the A.I.P. release.

The Danish version of REPTILICUS was once quite hard to come by, but Sandrew Metronome Video and Saga Studio did much to rectify that by releasing it to region 2 PAL DVD in 2002.  The transfer on display is a fine full screen and progressive one.   Colors seem a bit faded at times and there are instances of minor damage, but the source elements look to have been in otherwise good shape.  Contrast and detail fair very well and the single layer encoding is solid [the compressed screen caps really don't do it justice], though I did detect some edge enhancement.  Audio is presented in a strong Dolby Digital monophonic track in the original Danish.  Dialogue and sound effects are clear and the Gyldmark score has definite punch. The track is augmented with Danish SDH subtitles, but there are, unfortunately, no English subtitles to match.  Extras are limited to an original Danish trailer [which wisely opts not to show the monster], some text biographies, and a text history of Saga Studio.  Both the menu and the packaging are adorned with a huge cartooney logo announcing REPTILICUS as a Dirch Passer Film – that he would be of more appeal than the rest of the film to potential Danish customers isn’t really surprising.

The Sandrew Metronome Video / Saga Studio disc is currently readily available from a variety of online Danish video retailers, and I purchased my copy through dvdoo.dk.  While the checkout was a bit difficult to navigate, being in Danish only, prices were good [I paid only $18 for the dvd, shipped] and service was impeccable.

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I hated REPTILICUS when I first saw it as a child, and wondered for days about just why I’d shelled out my hard-earned change on a VHS of it in the first place.  Since then it’s grown on me, and I’ve even added it to the long list of terrible films I commonly screen for friends.  Bad as both versions may be, there’s something undeniably amiable about this monster opus born out of international co-production hell.  Odds are it won’t thrill you or chill you, but you might just find yourself entertained in spite of it.  I’m giving it an overall recommendation, and heartily encourage fans to take the time to track down the Danish release version.



Motor Home From Hell

July 16th, 2009 | article by | No Comments »
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Riffle Pictures [2009] 104′
country: United States
director: Ross Payton
cast: Holly McWilliams, David Krudwig,
Ron Ayers, Russ Metcalf, Richard Pille
Order this film from Amazon.com or Rifflepictures.com

After a pair of bumbling hillbillies eat a sacred race of blind albino crayfish a portal to hell is opened – out steps the Devil [a guy in a mask that makes him look like Dennis Hopper, only aged a few hundred years], who confiscates the hillbillies’ motor home and turns its owners into devoted vampire minions.  The Devil then proceeds to drive around the Ozarks [Sinkhole county to be specific] raising a small army of the undead and disrupting the general flow of things by . . . well, we never actually see how, really.

Enter the mysterious Madame X, a government agent with ESP, who has a dream about the Devil and his motor home and decides to enlist the help of parapsychological private eye Phil Philby to stop it. The pair head off in their SUV and run immediately into trouble, like a gang of Albanian assassins and a local sheriff intent on imprisoning anyone who so much as looks at him.  Meanwhile, the Devil continues to ride around the woods in the motor home raising hordes of the undead and ruining family picnics.

Madame X gets the department of homeland security involved, orders a nuclear strike [which fails, horribly], and falls in love with Phil, who just runs around being an awful action hero.  Oh yeah, there are Russians trying to screw with things, too, not that anything ever comes of it.  Eventually Phil and X realize that they’re in over their heads and call upon a pricey medicine man, who gives them a recipe for some holy water stuff that’s sure to send the Devil back to hell.  Phil loads up a water pistol, shoots the prince of darkness, and saves the day.

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MOTOR HOME FROM HELL should have been a fun film – how can you possibly go wrong with a story about a demonic recreational vehicle raising the undead and causing general havoc in the south of Missouri?  Lots of ways, it would seem.

The DVD case promises “a wicked political satire” and “an infernal combustion engine of explosive, subversive humor”.  While infernal it may be, wicked, explosive, and subversive MOTOR HOME FROM HELL certainly isn’t.  The entire screenplay seems to have been built around a single pun – that the motor home runs on “axles of evil”.  Get it?  Axles of evil – Axis of evil?  Anyway, writer Leland Payton thought so much of this single joke that it is repeated constantly throughout the story [and twice on the DVD case alone].  It’s a bit like the “big as a battleship” comparison from THE GIANT CLAW, only utterly forced and unfunny.

About the most subversive thing MOTOR HOME ever does is dare to mock the Department of Homeland Security, the Environmental Protection Agency, and our country’s relations with Russia [which is still full of freedom-hating commies, don't ya know], and it does that rather badly.  DR. STRANGELOVE is an obvious inspiration here, so much so that it’s mentioned on the DVD cover ["Stranger than Dr. Strangelove," proclaims an anonymous audience comment], but what’s on display is never absurd or even consistently funny enough to warrant the comparison. The only moment that had me laughing aloud involves the Native American medicine man and his appraisal of the situation, which is present in its entirety in the online trailer for the film.

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What puts me off the most about the production, though, is just how uninspired the direction is.  Ross Payton’s point-and-shoot approach to photography would be fine for coverage of a family trip Six Flags, but it fails miserably as a film-making style.  There’s a cinematographer credited, but just what they added to the value of the production is lost on me [would this really have looked worse without them??].  Editing, also by Ross Payton, adds another layer of unbearability.  There’s no reason at all that MOTOR HOME should run a full hour and forty four minutes, and there are a number of utterly superfluous diversions that should have been excised entirely.  Cases in point are the beginning, in which the hillbillies hire a homeless man to steal some Sudafed, and a scene in which Phil goes to collect an old debt, but ends up trashing a guy’s CD collection and stereo instead.  Then there’s the ending, which piles on ten full minutes of post-climax tedium that never should have made it past pre-production.

I have no doubt that effort went into making this [the official site, linked below, claims two years went into shooting and editing the affair], and that it’s so disappointing is a real shame.  The DVD screener I received is reasonably produced at least, presenting MOTOR HOME in its original full-screen aspect ratio in all the quality that interlaced digital video can provide.  A trailer is the only extra.  Perhaps the most surprising revelation for me was in discovering that the release is actually a pressed DVD5, and not just a burned-on-demand DVD-R.  It can be ordered at full retail price from Amazon.com or at considerable savings from the official film website.  The official site lists a special Podcast Fan edition as well as a Mystery Grab Bag as ordering options – I must confess I have no idea how either deviate from the screener reviewed here.

I was really hoping for something original and entertaining, if not particularly well produced, in MOTOR HOME FROM HELL.  Perhaps having expectations was a mistake on my part, but that the film fails to deliver can hardly be denied.  I’ve seen worse straight-to-video entertainment [Dave Silver's CORN comes to mind], but this will do nothing to change the format’s reputation of underachievement.  Not recommended.

For more information visit the official
MOTOR HOME FROM HELL website,  Rifflepictures.com



Magic Lizard

July 13th, 2009 | article by | 1 Comment »
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a.k.a. King-Ka Kayasit
company: Chaiyo Productions
year: 1985
runtime: 110′
country: Thailand
director: Sompote Sands
cast: Lor Tok, Der Daksadao, See Thao
not on home video in the USA

My readers will pardon my choice of words, but it seems as though it’s been forever since I covered a genuine cinematic mind-fuck here – a real shame considering they’re just the thing this site was created to present.  Luckily for me there exists Sompote Sands, whose entire oeuvre appears to have been carefully crafted to be mind-bashingly strange.  MAGIC LIZARD, one of the last films Sands would produce before focusing his talents exclusively on the violation of Tsuburaya trademarks and copyrights, is no exception to that rule.

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