It’s exciting new feature time here at Wtf-Film and I’m proud to announce the start of what I hope to be a weekly feature of this site: the Psychotronic Picture Show. This feature will be reserved for only the most exceptionally strange efforts that cross my proverbial doorstep, particularly efforts about which I’m at a loss to write in any traditional sense. First up is an appropriately bizarre Nollywood epic of the end times, the first of four (count ‘em!) video films that collectively constitute the greatest apocalyptic evangelical Christian series in the history of Nigerian cinema!
Christianity is a relatively new development in Nigerian history, the evangelical type even more so, and if recent studies are any indication the Good Word is spreading like wildfire. Faith of a fundamentalist variety has proven popular enough to spawn a successful sub-genre in Nollywood’s explosive video film industry (whose output is estimated to be as high as 200 films per month by some sources), a sub-genre that, in 2007, took the inevitable leap into full-on Left Behind end-of-the-world territory.
666 Beware the End is at Hand is the brainchild of pastor-turned-producer Kenneth Okonkwo (not to be confused with Nollywood acting icon Kenneth Okonkwo, who is as famous for his extra-marital promiscuity as he is for his acting chops), whose Global Updates Pictures company is behind such other faith dramas as Covenant Keeping God and Persecution. Okonkwo was obviously quite taken with his work, his likeness graces the entirety of the lengthy end credits scrawl, but who can blame him. If I were responsible for anything as bat-shit-crazy as 666 Beware the End is at Hand I’d be plastering my name and likeness all over it as well.
666 begins in Hell, or at least a grade-school quality plywood-and-blue-screen representation of such, where Lucifer (Emeka Ani), seated comfortably in his throne, sceptre in hand, chortles about his ownership of the Earth to his gallery of she-demons. It seems the time has come for the gates of Hell to open, and for an unsuspecting mankind to feel the wrath of their one true ruler. If that’s not a sign of good-times to come, I don’t know what is!
From Hell 666 spirals into a series of unfortunate events that have seemingly little to do with Lucifer or his minions, a taste of just how Godless and heathenistic modern Nigerian life has become. Apparently pregnant women can’t hitch rides with total strangers without having to worry about being mugged by gangs of murderous abortion-crazed psychopaths (!!), and landlords can’t evict unruly tenants for fear of foot-cursing death-dealing retribution.
Meanwhile, Lucifer’s earthbound demonic support team is busy, forcing prostitutes to lick their festering leg wounds (!!) in a disgusting Catch-22 to condemn their souls to eternal hell fire.
Not to be fooled is Pastor Lazarus (Fred Ariko), who has seen the signs and is fully aware of the lateness of the hour. With the souls of all un-converted mankind at stake, Pastor Lazarus goes on a one-man crusade to gather the faithful and shepherd any wayward sheep into God’s . . . farm? At any rate there is lots of preaching . . . preaching in the streets . . . preaching in the bars . . . preaching everywhere.
Lucifer is naturally displeased with the efforts of Pastor Lazarus, whom he watches on his magical stretchy pink television screen, and sends his chief minion Ken (Clems Ohameze) to the surface to set things right. Before you can say The Omen, Ken is running about in patricidal child form and causing all manner of devilish mischief.
Fitting in . . . well, not quite anywhere . . . is some super-hot Nollywood-style full-clothed demon-facilitated homosexual action, which involves lots of rolling around, groaning, and pained facial expressions.
Events come to a head rather unexpectedly, as Pastor Lazurus wanders across kiddy-Ken while overseeing a crusade. What ensues is an epic battle of good and evil, full of all the gripping suspense and fantastical imagery that a static camera angle and off-the-shelf video editing software can provide. Pastor Lazarus is triumphant, and evil put at bay . . . for now . . .
If it seems like plot is pretty slim in 666 Beware the End is at Hand, that’s because it is. Not that it matters, of course. What does matter is that 666 (and its three sequels, to be covered here later) is unencumbered mind-bending backyard-budgeted fundamentalist Christian silliness from start to finish. It may be diametrically opposed to the majority of my personal opinions, outright homophobic at times and with an utterly unforgiving stance on human morality, but for pure and unadulterated craziness it’s tough to beat. Far more fun than I was expecting from the land of 419 advance fee email scams, and recommended!
666 Beware the End is at Hand is a production of Global Update Pictures, Ltd., and is not available on home video in the United States at this time.
Wow. Some religious folks here stateside made a similar styled series of movies (four, just like these). They were called “Left Behind” maybe? I can’t remember. But they looked poorly done and what I have seen of them was rather disturbing.
Sadly, the recent dream I had about the rapture was more disturbing, but still, I’m not sure what exactly was to be gained by this sort of product.
The ’666′ films look to have been proselytism, pure and simple. I doubt the ‘Left Behind’ series, books or films (both equally ghastly on just about every conceivable level), is going to convert anyone on the fence – they’re marketed to people who already share the beliefs of the product’s creators. There’s a certain wish-fulfillment aspect to these kinds of things for an important segment of believers, not to mention a good deal of ego-stroking to be had in affirmation that there’s is the One True Faith [tm].
But the vast appeal of video films in Nigeria makes the format an easy way to sell one’s ideology to masses of people while turning a huge profit in the process. I imagine there’s a lot to be gained, financially, for someone like Kenneth Okonkwo (pastor) in converting more to his side of things. It doesn’t show in this film, but the Pastors in the sequels look to be doing quite well for themselves – riding around in SUVs, living in huge houses with barb-wire barricades around them . . . Church donations are great, particularly when you’re on the receiving end of them.